


Matters of Legality, Technical and Literal

by prairiecrow



Series: The "KnightFall" Knight Rider Future AU [4]
Category: Knight Rider (1982)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, F/M, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Partnership, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:51:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairiecrow/pseuds/prairiecrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael Knight is aware of cultural differences, but sometimes in the face of a particularly pretty girl he has a tendency to forget them. Hence KITT's lecture, which Michael does not appreciate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matters of Legality, Technical and Literal

"… and remember," KITT's humanoid simulator instructed as he and Michael Knight headed down the hallway toward KITT-as-starship's external exit port, "it's vitally important that you do not look any woman directly in the eyes if she opens her veil for any reason, no matter —" 

"KITT…" He liked the sound of the sim's voice, really he did, but it had been lecturing him for the last five minutes straight and was becoming a bit much. "You gave me the full info-dump already, remember?" He glanced down at his much smaller companion with a tight little smile and a tap of his left forefinger on his left temple. "I don't have this data transfer neural net for nothing, y'know." 

"Oh, I'm well aware of that," KITT retorted, looking distinctly unimpressed. "However, your ability to recall my cultural briefings seems to suffer a sharp decline whenever you find yourself in the company of a pretty woman — _any_ pretty woman. Hence my emphasis of certain key points of —" 

A sigh and a ceiling-ward roll of both eyes. "Okay, okay, I get the message." 

"Do you also remember what I told you about attitudes toward homosexuality in this society?" 

"Yes," the human said with pointed courtesy, "and I promise I won't grab you and plant a big wet one on you in the middle of the public marketplace. All right?" 

"I'd appreciate that," KITT sniffed primly as they reached the exit port, where he paused to give his exquisitely tailored tunic a final tug to ensure that it was fitting just right. It was one of those moments of pure fastidious fussiness that made Michael want to catch hold of him and kiss him silly. "I have no desire to end up in jail, even if I had the consolation of you as my cellmate — which I certainly would not, under these circumstances." 

Michael offered his most cheeky smile and resisted the completely justifiable urge to lay his right hand on KITT's ass, just to see him sputter with indignation. "You're welcome, partner — but I don't see what you're so worried about. After all," and he reached up to pat the arch of starship-grade kevlar-bonded steel overhead instead, "you're not exactly 'all man', so to speak." 

"So to speak," KITT nodded, one corner of his neat mouth quirking up so slightly that Michael was sure someone not intimately familiar with his mannerisms would have missed it entirely. "However, I believe that the old twentieth century aphorism nevertheless applies…" 

Michael paused, his hand still on the arch. "I'm gonna regret asking, but… which one?" 

"The one about being 'close enough for horseshoes, hand grenades, thermonuclear warfare' — and in this case, for homosexual technicalities. So keep your hands to yourself, mister." And with that he turned to fully face the portal, which irised open at the command of his starship-embodied consciousness to reveal a sandy yellow sky, a stretch of dust-strewn pavement, and a trio of tall figures in elaborate robes, only their green eyes visible through the intricately interwoven fabric that covered their heads. 

"For now," Michael murmured to KITT as they started down the ramp, "but when we get back I'm going to do some things to you that would set me up for the death penalty. Count on it." 

KITT's only response was a flicker of a sidelong glance, half sternly reproving and half sufficiently hot to make his human partner break out in a sweat that had nothing to do with the ambient temperature, before he turned his full attention to their hosts and launched smoothly into a complex ceremonial greeting that Michael didn't even try to follow. Instead he contented himself with standing straight, his hands respectfully folded in front of him, and with keeping his gaze on the pendants at the collars of the D'jor-tar's representatives, as instructed. Contrary to KITT's accusations, he was perfectly capable of following instructions — when it suited him to do so, that is, and with any luck this mission would turn out to be so straightforward that he'd have no reason to be impolite to anybody during its execution. 

Of course, it didn't quite turn out that way… 

THE END


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